Don't Say
by SilverMidnight52
Summary: Barney freaks out over Ted's new 'True Love'. Why is he freaking out? What happens when his secret comes out?


I own nothing. Enjoy! **ONE-SHOT ONLY!**

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><p>"I think she might be the one, Barney," Ted said as Robin,Marshall, and Lily walked into the bar, "Hey, guys, have I told you about Camille?"<p>

Sighing I listened to Ted go on another explanation of his newest 'True Love'. I had been hearing about this girl for the last hour and I felt like I was going to go insane if I heard anymore. It didn't matter though. Whether it was this woman or a different one there was no way to escape it.

When I fell for Robin Lily knew and kept my secret, for the most part, but no one knew that Robin wasn't the only one in the group that I fell for. I had been in love with Ted for so much longer then that. He was the one that made my heart skip a beat. He had made me believe in love at first sight. Not that I'd tell anymore.

"I really can see us together," Ted said grinning, "She's amazing."

"You've been on one date, Ted," I said letting my emotions get the better of me, "One date and you're going to go through this again? Why don't you just face the fact that 'True Love' doesn't exist? Even if it does and you find the person they won't love you back. Get that through your head and stop doing this."

Before anymore could say anything I got out and stormed out of the bar. I tried to hail a cab, but after a few tried I gave up and started walking. I knew that I couldn't go to my apartment or work, but there was nowhere else I wanted to go.

Sighing I walked into another bar with the idea of getting drunk. I wanted to forget the hurt look on Ted's face when I told him the truth. He had the right to know though. He was searching for something that no one could get. I didn't want to see him heartbroken again.

It was a few hours later when the bartender told me that he was closing the bar. Looking around I saw that I was the only one in the in the bar anymore. After I paid for my drinks I stumbled out of the bar and heard my cell phone go off again. It was another call from Lily.

The four of them had been calling me none stop since I left. I couldn't talk to them yet. Truly I didn't want to talk to them at all. As I finally waved down a cab I got in and muttered a hotel. They might try to find me and the thought of disappearing for a week sounded good to me.

Once I got a room I called work and explained that I wasn't going to be in for the rest of the week. With a shake of my head I opened the mini bar and drank until I passed out. Luckily with the passing out I didn't have any dreams involving Ted.

When I opened my eyes I quickly closed them out of pain. Rolling to my side I saw my phone flashing with new messages. As I closed my eyes again I felt the need to throw up and rushed into the bathroom. Kneeling in front of the toilet I felt everything I had eaten come back up.

After feeling like there was nothing else I could throw up I went back to the bed. Grabbing my phone I went through the messages and saw that most of them were from Lily and Ted. With a sigh I sent a text to Lily that I was fine and that I had been sent on a trip for work.

As I though about what everyone would think when Lily told them my message I went to take a shower. I knew that it was stupid lying to Lily, but if I saw Ted anytime soon I would tell him everything. Right now I had to get my head on straight.

When I got out of the shower I had a new message from Lily saying that they had already talked to Arthur. She wanted to talk to me alone though. I knew that she couldn't keep a secret, but I didn't know if I could keep it to myself anymore. I needed someone to talk to.

Giving Lily the address of where I was I waited. She was going to be here soon and as much as I wanted to tell her I didn't know if I could. I had hid this for so long. The idea of telling anyone terrified me.

"Barney," Lily said knocking on the door, "Are you in there?"

"Hey," I said opening the door.

Lily stared at me for a moment before hugging me. I rested my head on hers and let out a shaky breath. I knew that my walls weren't that stable right now. It was a mistake bringing Lily here. I couldn't tell her what was going on. There was no way she could keep it a secret. I barely could.

"Get out," I said pulling away.

"Barney, I just…" Lily said confused.

"You came to see if I was alright. I am. Now get out."

"You're alright? Barney, I've heard some of the lies you've told woman, but this had got to be the biggest one."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Tell me the truth!"

"I'm in love with Ted!"

Lily stared at me in shock before a sad smile covered her face. She opened her arms inviting me into another hug. Sighing I let myself fall into her arms. I don't know why I let my defenses down and I really didn't care right now. I needed someone right now and Lily was here.

"That's why you hate when he starts dating someone new," Lily said softly, "Hell, why you hate when he talks about the future at all."

"I'm like Robin," I said shaking my head, "Why didn't he pick me?"

"I don't know, Sweetie. Why don't you tell him how you feel?"

"I've been in love with him since we met, Lily. Don't you think I've thought of that? I've had so many dreams of what it would be like."

"Tell me about it."

Shaking my head I pulled away from Lily and opened the mini bar. Seeing that it was empty I closed the door angrily. I needed something to drown my thoughts out. With a sigh escaping my lips I sat on the bed. It was getting to be too much.

"What do you see when you think of Ted?" Lily said sitting next to me.

"Everything that he talks about," I said resting my head on hers, "That house, a basketball hoop, and two kids, a boy and a girl. I see all of that."

"You have to tell him."

"I can't, Lily."

Lily opened her mouth to say something only to have her phone go off. She smiled slightly and stood up. Opening her phone she started to talk softly into it. I couldn't tell what she was saying or who she was even talking to.

"Barney," Lily said turning her phone off, "Why can't you tell Ted you love him?"

"Look at me, Lily," I said staring at her, "I'm a player. I have sex just to forget everything. I lie and hide from everything to keep myself safe. You think Robin is bad at relationships? I've been in two my whole life and after both of them I came close to self-destruction. I'm not good for Ted. Face it, he needs someone he can rely on and I run the second things get real. I love him and I think he's the one for me, but I'm not the one for me, but I'm not the one for him. Look, I'm just going to head to my place. Can you keep everyone away?"

"I'll try. Keep in contact, okay?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"Bye, Sweetie. Don't worry. It will work out."

"I wish I could believe that, Lily. I'll see you later."

Grabbing my jacket I left the hotel with Lily. She hugged me one last time and started to make her way towards her andMarshall's place while I went to mine. It had started to rain as I walked and I knew I should be concerned with how ruined my suit would be when I got home.

It didn't take long for me to get there, but I stood outside my door staring at it. I didn't want to go inside and be alone, but there was nowhere else I could go. I couldn't bother Lily with this and I wasn't going to tell anyone else. I couldn't have them tell Ted.

I ran a hand through my hair and walked inside. Turning the lights on I almost choked when I saw Ted standing in the middle of the living room. Ted had a huge grin on his face, but that was it. Ted was completely naked in my living room.

"What are you doing?" I asked shocked.

"The Naked Man," Ted said happily, "I know how much you love it."

"Why are you here?"

"Lily left her phone on when you guys were talking. Why did you say all those things about yourself, dude?"

"It's the truth, Ted. We all know it. Why don't you just get dressed and leave?"

"Not until I try something."

I opened my mouth to say something when Ted pressed against me and drug me into a kiss. My mind went completely blank as I wondered in the feeling of the kiss. I knew there was a reason that Robin went back to him when they knew they didn't belong together.

"You shouldn't do that," I said pulling away.

"Why?" Ted asked smiling.

"You don't like me like that."

"Are you sure about that? I didn't know you were psychic."

"Ted, don't mess with this. I can't have my heart broken again."

"You know me, Barney. I don't give up when I want someone, especially when I love them."

"Why did you say that?"

"That I love you? Barney, I do love you, but I thought it would never happen. I was going to give up on you loving me back."

"I thought that too. I don't know what to do."

"Be with me, Barney."

Smiling I kissed Ted gently. Letting myself be taken to a different place I wondered how long it would take for me to ruin Ted. I always told him that he shouldn't over-think things now I was the one thinking too much.

"Give me a chance, Barney," Ted said against my lips, "It will be worth it."

"Fine," I said softly, "But get dressed. This is just a little too much right now."


End file.
